What happens is that the mind gets into a double-bind. For example, IF A PERSON IS NEGATIVE, SHE SUFFERS. But by being negative, she enjoys few things that a positive person cannot enjoy. For example A NEGATIVE PERSON WILL BE THOUGHT TO BE VERY INTELLIGENT.
A POSITIVE PERSON WILL NOT BE THOUGHT TO BE VERY INTELLIGENT because the positive person will not criticize anybody. The positive person will look shallow, and the negative person will look very deep.
So IF YOU BECOME NEGATIVE, YOU SUFFER — but there is some PAY-OFF, and that is that people think you’re very critical, very intelligent, very LOGICAL, this and that — and all nonsense! You suffer inside, but you cannot lose this profit that comes out of negativity.
ALL CRITICAL PEOPLE SUFFER, but they become GREAT LEADERS, they become GREAT THINKERS. They suffer, they want to get out of their suffering, but they don’t want to drop that profit comes out of being negative….
In India it happens that ASCETICS ARE WORSHIPED VERY MUCH; so many people are ready to fast, to destroy their bodies. They suffer very much, they suffer thousand and one types of inconveniences, but still the investment is there, because people worship them — and they worship them only because of these things — so they continue.
Jaina monks used to come to me and they would say, ‘We are in deep misery. What to do? How to get out of it?’ And I would say that it is difficult to get out of it because that is their very trade, their very business. THEIR BEING MISERABLE IS WORSHIPED. If they start enjoying and become joyous like ordinary human beings, nobody will think that they are mahatmas, saints — nobody. They are saints only because they are miserable. Their whole saintlihood depends on their misery. THEY HAVE WASTED THEIR LIVES THROUGH A WRONG ATTITUDE.
Look at this: if you are a mischief-maker, you will become famous. You will suffer very much — because A PERSON WHO CREATES MISCHIEF FOR OTHERS CANNOT REMAIN IN SILENCE AND PEACE; it is impossible. But if you are a mischief-maker, people will talk about you; you will become famous, world famous. What is the fame of an Adolf Hitler? He was a mischief-maker. He was ill-famed, but he had created so much trouble in the world that you had to pay attention. Now, if Adolf Hitler had not been a mischief-maker, had lived a happy life, nobody would ever have known about him.
So this is my feeling — that the ego has a deep investment in negativity, in mischief-making, misery, suffering. THE EGO CANNOT EXIST WITHOUT CREATING A HELL AROUND IT. The ego is an island in the ocean of Hell. You want to get rid of the Hell but you don’t want to get rid of that island. Then there is trouble.
JUST BECOME ORDINARY. There is no need to be special… it is there. There is no need to be special. All special people suffer. They may be politicians, they may be writers, painters or whatsoever, but all people who in some way try to be extraordinary, suffer. ONLY ORDINARY PEOPLE ARE HAPPY — but nobody talks about them, that is true….
My whole teaching is to just be ordinary. And in being ordinary you will be extraordinarily happy.
The Great Nothing,
a darshan diary, Ch #2